The Himalayan Dream.

SO. I realized this very recently. i NEED to take a LONG trip to the Himalayas in the next two- three years. Camp there, explore the raw beauty of the place and simply breathe in the serenity.

What's been going on? Oh just a bunch of exams and nothing else. Vacations don't feel like vacations any more, HA!

THE ANTICIPATION is killing me. I don't know what to expect. I shared this with one of my friends who very wisely told me, " Well then, don't. Don't expect." Dude's got a point, I figure.

One of my cutest cousins hugged me recently when i got back home, totally tired and sullen from the longass day's events. So it was absolutely heartwarming to find her at my doorstep, greet me excitedly and jump around. Aww, kids are the bestesht! ^_^

Also. A WHOLE lot of soul searching left to do, apparently. Darn, i wish i could just go back to being a kid and start over again. I miss THAT SO MUCH. Happiness was omnipresent. Sadness was the elusive stranger back then. Guess the tables turned huh?

Also, recent realization: Life definitely seems easier on some level for guys in India than girls. Just sayin'.

I've started watching quite a few new shows on the idiot box. Pretty Little Liars, Supernatural, The Mentalist, Cougar Town... Haha! =P Look who is on a roll. 8-)

I'm so hoping for the time turner or a time machine of SOME sort to be invented in my lifetime. Please God. I need to re live a WHOLE lot of memories. No kidding...

Also, no go on the bungee jumping front. Still to check it off the list. Can you believe that?  -_-

I have my first round of results coming up VERY soon. Oh well.  * Can't watch*

I realize I'm down a few feet and need to get back up and begin asap. On it!

I'm thinking I really should get back to helping out at an NGO.. I miss that. It was so nice and liberating.. doing something to watch someone else smile..Yes, amazing...

So, it's 11:01 on the clock and I'm just numb... Not sure where I'm headed. Also, painfully aware I have only a couple of days before the next exam. *Facepalm*

Parting shot: May I add Delhi roads are something else?! =P 

Now my feet won't touch the ground...

I'm on a spree...  a mad spree. It's true that I have little idea as to what I'm up to these days but that's ok really. I've realized there's no point in wasting precious days, life is too short and we are merely travelers. Just passing by, just exploring. Besides, there is so much to do!

So I've made a new agenda (if you must) for me. Just busy working on it. Working my ass off actually. =) And It feels exhilarating! I love every bit of it and I'm positive I will achieve what I want. Soon. =D

I'm kind of nervous about the results. There's still time but I'm apprehensive, Fingers crossed. =)

I have my vivas tomorrow, the last bit and so I'm supposed to be preparing for those at the moment ha. Should be decent enough.

I miss dancing. It's been months, just too long, since I took a hiatus thanks to final year projects overload. I imagine I'll be able to get back to it properly after this year. Can't wait.


 Have you ever wished upon a star? Have you ever wondered why some people simply scoff at the mere mention of it, dismiss it and act all practical and 'realistic'? What's wrong with dreaming a little, my friend? If you don't have a vision, how will you see and know what you want? Why won't you follow your heart, which always knows what's up when your mind's playing tricks on you... It's worth leaping, taking a risk, knowing you tried. Every day. Every second.  You want to know you didn't let yourself down. Because YOU matter.

And so, I should be getting back to having a quick look at them notes.. =) And I'll leave you here, with a final parting shot for today...

Laugh a lot, Dance like no one's watching, Run like a crazy bum high on life, Spill chocolate all over,  Smile often! =)

                                                                             You are Loved.

Pain is the enemy, universal love is the saviour..what?

Oh I know, it's been a million years since I wrote. But sometimes, even though your head is full of these little thoughts chasing each other like someone possessed, you just can't motivate yourself enough... Your inspiration fails you or appears randomly, lets you drink in a nice healthy glimpse but then, before you can say,'What?", it's gone. Again.

I'm on my own weird ( pyschotic? deranged?) trip at the moment. But whatever. I'm frustrated. and sad. So I'm allowed. =)

I wish people would stop wasting time and hurting other people. What's the fun in that anyway? It's sick, it's sadistic and no, it doesn't leave you with a warm feeling inside either like perhaps the way you feel when a beggar,poor kid smiles at you in gratitude or when you think about that time you kissed for the first time and forgot the world around you even existed.... Uh yeah.

I'm just starting to realizing my insides are bursting with a lot of unsaid things... Unhealthy, unhealthy. Meanwhile, my mind is bursting with advertising strategies and it also occasionally( very occasionally) wanders to the paper I wrote yesterday, copy writing et al. I'm most unsatisfied with how distracted I seem to be and how my creativity is going on a nice roller-coaster ride without even inviting me along. Unfair.

Come to think of it, I haven't sat on a roller coaster since... three years..almost. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? O_o

I miss being a carefree kid. I miss having nothing to worry about. Not the future, not my life. I miss the good ol' days. Bleh. What sort of crisis is this? I'm 20 and not even further ahead in order to proclaim it's a mid-life crisis so all the annoying hurtful types can go stuff their heads. Anyway...

I'm in this super unhappy mode today. Ah. Today.You bad, bad boy. Why'd you come lurking into my personal space? Why don't you and yesterday go chat somewhere while I sneak along and join day before yesterday? Sounds like a plan?

Told you I'm on my own trip. Psychotic aaaaaaaaaaaah. I wish I'd grow wings one of these days so I could just take off. Disappearing never sounded so tempting. Alone on a tiny island with nothing but ocean water and the blue skies and perhaps, my collection of music and a few thousand stories to pass the time with. Yayness. =/

  

 Parting shot: You know I ALMOST forgot I used to do this. Well anyway, fly, flew,flying, flown. Toodles.

One step at a time.

Well, exams are over... So that's one good thing.  It was back to back, so seriously hectic but oh well, that only made it finish quicker which is awesome!
I love How I Met Your Mother... Such a funny show man! GO BARNEY! =) I love all the characters, the concept, the situations, the fact that it all feels so real... Love it... It is.. wait for it ;)... Fantabulous!...one of the best shows i've ever come across.
So..this break... Hmm. Can't say I'm over the moon about it.. I'm glad I have it... god knows i needed a vacation... but I'm afraid of being idle. It's horrible for my mood swings.. So I'm going to see if I can find the right course or hobby or something to pass time with. Only way to keep myself occupied.
Oh, by the way..I got to do something pretty different from what I usually do recently...I got to promote this product and it's new design (s) at a mall the other day.. I was actually helping a friend who needed promoters for the event. It was actually awesome fun.. Annoying at times but fun nevertheless.. So that's cool.
Yesterday, I spent a good amount of time at my favorite spot in the city... I loved staring at the endless stretch of sea in front of me and feel the pulse of the road behind me... I realized how much I missed doing it. So yesterday, was good.
On the mood/ happiness front, I'm not doing great. And I've been escaping. And..I don't know anymore.
I'm dying to join a contemporary dance class. I'm gonna go check out my options and zero down on something concrete real soon..I hope.
I'm almost positive I'm switching cities and going elsewhere in the country or the world after graduation. I want to get away from everything..and everyone. I want to vanish. And I'm very stubborn about this dream. I AM going away, living a different life, as soon as i can. I'm going to do it and I don't care how.
So I'm biding time and waiting, counting on a few dreams. Dance, emote, switch, write songs, explore,get rid of inhibitions ( I'm actually making pretty good progress there) ... earn enough to afford a decent quality of life... travel a lot, take lots of pictures..
I love dogs. I love how they are so friendly, so loyal... You show them even the slightest bit of concern, shower them with a little love..and they give you so much back in return. They don't hurt you, they don't leave you... They only make you happy. And this applies to all of them, a stray dog you find on the street, a friend's pet.. all of them...
I need to figure out what I'm gonna do today. Hmm.. maybe visit an old friend..or go on a long walk... i need to get out and do something so i don't go insane...ha.
I love this:
  "After all this time Severus?"
  "Always...."

 Well that's it from me.
Stay strong, dream on...

Parting shot:
" So close, yet so far.
I almost caught it,
That elusive bit of light, happiness,
I almost won it.
But in the end,
I felt like I'd caught sand,
It kept slipping away, slipping away,
I was left alone,
My mind was racing....
It didn't stay with me,
It slipped away...."

This is for you, Mr.Lennon.

You were remarkable. A true visionary... An inspiration.

Your "Imagine" left me speechless. Wish everyone would think the way you did, picture the world as one, just this once.

You were unreal. And are immortal in our hearts.
Thank you. For having given us a glimpse of a perfect world, of happiness.

You rock! =)


Happy Birthday, John Lennon. Live forever, brilliant legend!

Parting shot: "...You may say that I'm a dreamer  but I'm not the only one. I hope someday, you'll join us.. and the world will live as one."

.......

"Lights will guide you home..
And ignite your bones..
And I will try..to fix you."

About life.

I'm slowly realizing something. I really am reckless. Whether I want to admit that or not, I definitely am. And this is not just judging by recent behaviour, I have always been like that.. It's just that the reckless side is showing up now more often than before...

I don't even know whether that's a good thing or bad thing ha. I mean my recklessness might..what? get me killed someday? =P Ha. No.. I don't think so.

But i'm so certain many people would disapprove of reckless behaviour.

And i understand what they mean too. They're concerned.

But honestly, I can't seem to help it. I like being reckless.. It kind of relieves me, makes me feel happy inside.

Life has been multi coloured off late. So, shades of grey, white, absolute black and others spring up every now and then. I'm not looking forward to any sort of leave because I HATE being idle. It only acts like fuel for stupid thoughts to rise up. But hopefully, i'll take up an old activity again or work on new hobbies this time around. Note to self: Idle+ you= Bad combination.

Hmm...I have exams coming up real soon. Bleh.

I keep getting the feeling I need to do something. Many things actually.Considering I've had a super busy schedule recently, I'm surprised I get the time to feel something like that at all. =P

Yesterday night was so awful. Kept waking up every now and then. Not fun. Considering I had an early class today.

However, I must add... Life has brought me a few good things too in the past few days. And boy, I'm grateful! =)

Ah i should get back to pending stuff for now. Until next time then..

Parting shot: " What rocks more? Woo hoo or yay? Or wait. Cheers?"
"You're mad."
*Blush blush*

=P